SOIL SALOON ROCKS SF

San Francisco’s inaugural SOIL SALOON off road race series, sponsored by
SWOBO, proved to be a big hit.
Racers, miscreants and thrill seekers alike met in Golden Gate Park to make their fortune in pursuit of fun, hooch, dirt, and Certain Glory. Forty plus racers began the two-lap dash about the park with a beer chug/Le Mans style start. This pummeling of the body, spirit and liver would not end there however, as the racers then met the mid race temptation of a legal shortcut, at the price of downing an incredibly cheap and crappy shot of tequila. This proved unproblematic for many, and the single hand stamp they needed to prove their legitimate passage of this obstacle soon turned into three, five or more. Additional points were given for ability to sing the lyrics to Dolly Parton’s classic song Jolene, awarded per word by the lovely Tequila Girls who (wo)manned the shortcut.
Alas, this was by and large no song and dance number! The twisting trails through Golden Gate park’s lush foliage and hobo infested wilderness is wrought with excitement and peril. Much sweat was poured in the charging of inclines, adrenaline pumped in the technical log jumping descents, and skin sheared when the flesh hits the dirt! Many types of bicycle thundered below rider, from road to big-hit. Single speeds, twenty speeds, none seemed to excel quite like the cyclo-cross riders, clearly pumped from a fall season they didn’t want to end.
The checkpoint and finish line featured a piñata option, hung below a large Celtic cross. Racers were encouraged by race officials to hit the piñata as they rode by, as the contents ruptured forth may improve their overall times. This offer was alluring to many, however the actual contents of this paper-mache beast turned out to be patch-kits and condoms. Neither of which ended up helping your final standings, but they will prove to be incredibly useful in the future, regardless of anyone’s “luck”.
January 2008’s Soil Saloon awarded a gently contested first place winner , who’s prizes included a one-of-a-kind “Champion January 2008” hoodie and a size “M” Swobo jersey that ended up actually being a size “W”, because it was viewed upside-down. The rest of the prizes were awarded for: Best Crash (arm-warmers to protect damaged tattoos), Ugliest Head (to hide said head), Smiling-est Face (a shirt, so as not to hide the face) Biggest (the X-large shirt, so as to cover the bigness), Tired-est Single Speeder (a Chris King cog, hopefully a lower gear), Loudest Racer (a Mike’s Bikes cow bell) and Most Injured Volunteer, Gillian the Tequila Girl (a T-shirt… hell, she wanted one!). Many more exiting prizes from our incredibly generous and magnanimous sponsor SWOBO were given away with even less rhyme or reason.